A/B testing doesn't work for me

So I’ve discovered my superpower.

For the last 4 months I’ve discovered whenever I do an A/B split test I get identical results.

My latest endeavour was working on optimizing an email campaign. After 2,000 emails sent

Same number of opens (off by like 0.1%)
Same number of link clinks (exactly)
Same response rate (exactly. Both positive and negative levels I kid you not)
Same number of unsubscribes (exactly)
Same number of bounces
Same number of sales for near identical amounts of money (one was $10 more in overall)

I even got the same number of out of office autoresponses in the test…not that it would affect my actual results but I counted just to see.

Completely different subject lines and differently worded mails.

So if ever you want to spend a bunch of time and money to find out two very different sales pitches are equally as good so flip a coin…I’m your guy.


At least you can guarantee consistency, right? :slightly_smiling_face:

Also did you try putting “boobs” or something similar in the subject line to boost open rates?

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I think you just need a more Holistic approach.

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Ascii boobs go in every subject line of all my sales emails.

Not too sure what I could do differently. I mean I could change one of my sales emails to just say


I heard you have money. I’d like some or all of it (I’m not picky).
Here’s where you can send it to me: %%insert_link%%


Your lord and master"

I mean who knows…anything could happen right?

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I mean test it out, maybe it is going to be the next shit lol